End of the Year Reflections

     Well, it's that time of year again...the time where we say, "How is it 2019 already?"  And we hear all the aphorisms about time flying, and making each day count, and enjoying the moment.  And we feel a twinge of guilt, because did we really make the most of each moment?  Was there more we could have done?  Or less?  Could we have kept that New Year's resolution a little more faithfully?  Could we have stressed less about a clean house, folded laundry, or full schedules?  Are we ever going to get our kid out of "that stage?"  Did we keep that diet or exercise plan we promised ourselves we would?

     We like to look at the beginning of the year as a time for new starts.  Fresh pages, new leaves, all that type of thing.  But I think that it can also be a good time to look back.  Not in an "I-failed-at-all-these-things" way, but in a "what-did-I learn-this-year?" way.  Looking back at the ways we failed is an easy trap to fall into.  Our human tendency is to focus on all the ways we failed, and to live there in defeat.  The enemy knows that if he can trap us in the cycle of defeat and discouragement, then he's won half the battle.  We defeat ourselves by obsessing over what we didn't do, didn't say, didn't try. 

   So, instead of making a list of things we didn't get right to start the new year, I propose we make a list of what did go right.  What good things happened?  What did we get right?  Start the new year with a different kind of list. 

   This year, I really saw the way the Lord provides for us...even in the things that aren't super "spiritual."   Like the way He kept it from raining on our camp outs, or the way He sent the rain on a day that I wanted it to rain, so I could be a part of something important to me.  The way He let us get our kid's Christmas for 50% off, allowing us to get two instead of one.  The way He sent people into our lives at the right time to encourage us in the work He has called us to.  Things that may not be important to anyone else, but to me they were a big deal.

    I didn't get super fit, but I did improve my water drinking habit.  My house isn't spotless, but my kids are healthy, and learning to be decent humans.  My baby is reading fluently, and loves to do it.  My side hobby isn't making me rich, but it is helping me to learn new things, meet new people, and have some fun along the way.   My kids at school are growing and learning and improving.   Am I still doing a lot?  Yep.  Am I doing things that I think I'm supposed to do?  Yep.  And that's what really matters. 

     I have come closer to the realization that it doesn't matter what people say or think about what you are doing.  The only thing that matters is that you are doing the things your Heavenly Father has called you to do, and that the things that you are choosing to prioritize are furthering His kingdom.  That you go to bed at night and truly say, "I did my best to do my Father's will today."  And if the answer to that question happens to be "no" one night, His grace is sufficient to make the next day better. 

    So, this is what I think we should be thinking about as this year draws to an end.  Not all the failures we have seen, but all the grace we have received.  And maybe be a little more determined to share that grace with others in the New Year.

    Oh, and of course, the other important question this time of year: do I let the kids stay up until midnight or not?  Happy New Year. :)