Joy Check!

    In my personal devotional time these past couple of months, I have been working through the book "Adorned" by Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth.  (Snag your own copy here.)  Anyway, over this last week or so, I have been in the chapter that discusses the principle mentioned in Titus 2:4 as "...to love their children."  She really covers the idea well, but that was not the aspect that really struck me this time.  It was when she mentioned another verse, almost in passing.  It is found in Psalm 113:9.

    And there it was... like a brick.  "...joyful mother of children."  Huh.  Well, then.  Okay.   It also coincided with my recent watching of Marie Kondo's show on Netflix, and the new buzz words going around: "Does _______ spark joy?" 

     Am I a joyful mother of children?  I know I'm a busy mother of children.  An often impatient mother of children.  An occasionally frustrated mother of children.  A distracted mother of children.  But joyful...?  Hm... ouch. 

    So, I thought I'd spend a bit of time thinking and meditating on this idea, and just wanted to share my musings with y'all.  What are some practical ways I can be a more joyful mother of children?  Here are a few things I came up with: 

            1) It only works with Jesus.  Really, you don't even have to look elsewhere for this...it's right in the verse: "He maketh..."  Y'all, we can't do this motherhood thing without Jesus.  All the parenting books, videos, seminars, and blogs won't help a bit if we don't have the right foundation to build on.  And, believe me, I know how hard it is to find time to connect with my Lord in a meaningful way.  But if we really think about it, we can find those 15 or 20 minutes in our day.  Even 10.  To stop, come apart, and re-connect with our Power Source.  Do it.  Let the laundry sit.  Don't respond to the chirp of your text notification.  Put in a DVD for your little people.  Sit in your car before work.  Spend the time... it isn't wasted. 

          2)  Let it go.  Fair warning... this is my biggest struggle.  But to maintain a joyful spirit, you might need to overlook certain things.  I mean, is it really going to hurt anything if your toddler goes to the store in mismatched socks and a super hero cape?  If you give your kids cookies for a snack instead of carrot sticks?  Baths only happen every other day?  Does that make you less of a mom?  Nope.  Not to your kids.  But they will remember it if everything you do turns into a power struggle over your way or theirs.  Ask yourself, "Why do I feel that this is so important to me?"  If you can't give yourself a good answer, you may just want to roll with it.  At a minimum, it will be worth it to see the look on your kids faces! 

          3)  Don't let it go.  Ha!  Contradiction warning!!  Yes, on the surface, this one appears to be the opposite of what I just said, but hold your horses.  I have come to see the importance of letting little things go... and the importance of not letting the big ones slide.  Is it easier to let your kid get down from the table after you made yourself clear about the remaining broccoli on his plate?  Well, duh.  But did you give a firm direction?  "Eat the broccoli?"  Well, then, you'd better stick it out.  Obedience is one of the best things we can teach our kids.  That sports game happening during Sunday morning church?  What are you teaching about priorities?  Kids are crazy and you're tempted to skip family Bible time and just put everyone to bed so you can veg out a few minutes early?  Careful... they are paying more attention than you think.  So, be consistent on those big things. 

          4)  Smile when you see your kids.  I heard this quote from someone several years ago... and I have never forgotten it.  They said that when your kids come into the room, or you are seeing them for the first time in a while (picking up from school, daycare, etc.), to let them see your happiness to see them on your face.  It is so easy to let our faces reflect the million other things we are mentally juggling when we interact with our kids.  But when is the last time you just made eye contact with your kids and smiled at them?  Rather than a distracted, "Hey, honey. Have a good day? Get in... we're late for ...."  (Or in my case, "Hey guys.  Pick that up. Put away your stuff.  Have you done your chores?")  I know this is one I need to put into a bit better practice for sure! 

     I hope these tips help us to re-focus on being joyful in our motherhood.  God thinks kids are important, and He entrusts them to us for a short time.  Let's not treat that responsibility as if it only means drudgery and depression.  Let your kids see that Jesus has made you to be their joyful mother...even in the daily dose of chaos!  :)

I'm Back! Updates & Advice!

     So, I had to clean the cobwebs off this page before I could write anything!  :)  Not really, but I was looking and it's been almost a year since I last posted!  That is sad, y'all!  I'm just gonna give you a little rundown of everything that's been happening, and then a bit of advice on how I keep my plates spinning!  (In case you are feeling overwhelmed yourself!)

     Well, to begin, our family has taken on a couple of new projects over the last few months.  We have returned to Scouting, and now have two boys in Scouts, and a boy in Cub Scouts.  Daddy and Mommy run the Cub pack, and Little Sister goes along for all the adventures! 

    School is back full time now, and we tackled several projects over the summer here on the grounds.  Including cutting a big hole in the wall between the classrooms and adding a window!  Our Fearless Leader is also taking on another teaching job at a local Christian school...two math classes....his favorite!

     I have added another teaching job to my repertoire as well... piano lessons!  I have been teaching (read: forcing) my boys for several years, but this past school year, several students expressed an interest in learning piano as well.  I am by no means a professional music teacher, but I'm excited to share the fun of music with more kiddos!

     I have continued with my parenting classes at the local pregnancy resource center as well.  I am about to celebrate my 1 year anniversary there!  It has been a good year, with a chance to get to know and encourage some young girls in this adventure of motherhood!  And it is always an opportunity to praise God when someone chooses life for their baby!  There were at least two girls in my classes this year who came into the center deciding on abortion, but changed their minds!  What a blessing!! 

    I've also entered the world of direct sales.  This is more of a hobby for me, and a challenge for me to grow in an area personally.  I am selling Plunder jewelry, and having a blast!  It has really encouraged me to step outside my comfort zone and tackle something I didn't think I could do.  Plus, it's really fun, and I get to wear amazing jewelry! :)

    Of course, this is on top of teaching, wife-ing, & mommy-ing full time.  So, you might be wondering.... how do I do it?  (That's okay... I wonder that myself sometimes!!)  Here's a few tips that help me stay sane in the midst of the chaos! 

     1) Quiet time.  Nearly every day, first thing in the AM, I sit down with my current Bible study book, my Bible and a pencil and have some study time.  I really feel that I am more centered and focused on God's voice through out the day if I start my day this way. 

     2) Exercise.  I know.... this isn't a fun one.  But, really, y'all... it helps!  I'm not running any marathons or winning any Crossfit challenges, but I try to walk a mile every other morning, and do some kind of muscle exercises (crunches, squats, etc.) the other days.  Like I said, not fun, but it really helps me to feel better about the rest of the day, even if nothing else goes right.  "At least I got my mile in this morning!"

     3) Make your kids work.  Now, I know this seems like something "mean," but come on y'all.  Get serious.  Do you really need to be waiting hand and foot on the miniature people living in your house?  Do their legs and arms work?  Then they need to be cleaning their rooms, making their beds, and helping with other chores.  Currently, the chores in the house are divided up like this: Middle Biscuit and Stitch are responsible for the dishes and KP every day.  First Born and Little Sister are in charge of the laundry for the household, and First Born also has to clean the kids bathrooms.  I handle the vacuuming and the adult bathroom, along with the other extras.  It takes a little effort on your part, but believe me, when your kid is grown, and you don't have to go to his apartment and clean it, you'll thank me.

    4) Google Calendar and a notebook. I write out a weekly schedule in a notebook on the weekend and put all appointments in Google calendar.  Fearless Leader has Google Calendar too, and anything we add shows up on each other's schedule.  Life saver for busy people. 

     So, those are the things that help me juggle my busy life!  And while I'm busy and tired at the end of the day, it's worth it.  Because I know it's the path God has put me on, and there's no place I'd rather be!  I hope that I can get back here soon... I've had a couple of book review requests, and I really need to keep this going!  Thanks for checking in with my little family, and I hope it was a bright spot in your day!  Here's the most recent pic of the crew...so much change this mommy can barely handle it! :)

The More Things Change...The More He Stays the Same!

     Hey everybody!  Been busy around our place lately!  Lots of new things and changes have taken place since my last post, and I had some words about change I wanted to share with y'all.  So let's jump right in!

    Well, school got off to a good start.  Hubby has stepped into a larger role at his secular job, so more of the school responsibilities are trickling down to me.  We have 19 students this year, and so there are days I can really identify with Mrs. Duggar!  There were some surprise changes as we began the school year, but I could see God's hand in each one, which made them easier to handle.

    Another big change that just happened was that Firstborn just turned 13!  It has only been a couple of days since this big event, so I am still adjusting to the fact that I have a teenager.  Y'all... I remember being a teenager.  I am not exactly sure how I got to have one of my own already...and we are into it with a vengeance!  Those of you with toddlers, please enjoy them.  Diapers, potty training, attitudes, and all.  Because the worst day with toddlers can be fixed with a nap... or a good night's sleep.  But teenagers don't take naps.  They're just there... All. The. Time.  The transition from boy to man is a rough one, but with lots of prayer and patience I am determined to get through this in one piece with my sanity intact! Because I have to remember that inside all that attitude is this:

     I have had some changes in my personal life as well.  A big one is that I have begun a new aspect of ministry recently.  I know...what was I thinking, right?  A husband, four kids, full-time teaching job, house to take care of, and the other extras like Scouts aren't enough?  I needed to go find something else?  Well, that's what I thought for a long time too.  but God just kept bringing it to my attention.  I realized that if I waited for the "perfect" time, it would never come.  So, I just jumped in with a leap of faith that if God wanted me to tackle this new thing, He would work it out for me to do it.

      I had been praying for a while about becoming involved in our local pregnancy resource center.  This is a local ministry overseen by several people who are members of local churches.  They offer counseling to young women who find themselves expecting a baby that they are not sure they want, or don't think they can afford.  They receive some prenatal care, counseling, classes, and a support network of people who want them to find God's way to deal with the unexpected.  So, I finally sent an email to the lady in charge of the volunteers and told her I would like to give some time, if they had a place for me.  Well, to make a long story short, they were overjoyed to have me and I am now going to be teaching the class for first-time moms!  I sat in on the class in August and learned how to teach it.  The classes are one day a week for four weeks, with the fourth week being a baby shower for those who attended.  The Gospel is presented at the baby shower before they are given the gifts.  Y'all, at the baby shower for the class I sat in for training, 6 people made decisions for Christ!!!  It was so exciting to  be a part of  that!  I will be teaching my first set of classes at the end of October.  Pray that I will have an impact for Christ on the lives of the girls who come.  And pray that more girls will realize that their little ones are gifts from God who ought to be loved and cherished.

     Just this week, another change was added.  Hubby was called to work out of town for 2 or 3 weeks.  Thankfully, this is a temporary change for us.  But I know that there are ladies out there who hold things together for months at a time while their husbands are working or serving our country.  I was only asked to do it for two weeks.  At first, my mind went into planning overdrive.  But then I stopped, and talked to the Lord.  I realized that resting in His promises would give me a better ability to process each change that He puts in my path.

     As we face the changes God puts in our lives--big or small--that is what we need to remember.  That He won't give us what we can't handle...and that He wants us to "handle" it by trusting in His grace and mercy and provision.  To put our hand in His and walk with Him through the hills and valleys of life.  And because He's holding our hand, we can look around and enjoy the journey! :)

    

Resolved!

     We have had a great holiday season around here.  I hope your Christmas time was filled with fun things, family times, and reminders of God's blessings in your life.  Our family really enjoyed our break from the "grind" of school, and we spent several hours just doing nothing for a change!  I even stayed up late playing video games--*gasp!

    I was pretty glad to get back to the routine today, though.  Schedule is soothing to my OCD soul.  Although, I already miss the sleeping in!

    As most people look at the new year, they think about the things they want to change, or the weight they want to be, or the goals they want to accomplish in the new year.  I always feel that my "new year" begins in August, when school starts back.  That is usually when I take stock of our lives and see what is working and what isn't, make changes, and things like that.  So, the New Year for me is more of a time to check in on the plans from August and see how they are working.  (So far, so good!)

    Secondly, I think that in order for resolutions to make any impact in your life, they should really be made on a daily basis, rather than a batch of "I want to..." at the beginning of a year, most of which are forgotten by the end of the month!  I thought I would share a few things that I try to resolve to do each day.  Like a lot of things, some days it works, and some days it doesn't!  Which ones would make your "daily resolution" list?

       1. Pray more purposefully.   We pray over our meals, and there are the quick, desperate "mommy" prayers ("Please keep me from completely LOSING it!"), but praying purposefully can be something that is difficult to do on a daily basis--especially for us busy moms!  Praying purposefully means to me that I have sought a quiet time, alone, to go to God and talk with Him in a coherent, thoughtful way.  I have tried to clear my mind of the busy clamor of life to spend some time worshiping and communicating with my Heavenly Father.

       2. Think about God's Word.   Again, this is not a snatched verse here or there, but a time apart to read an spend time meditating on God's Word and what He would have for me to apply in my life.

       3.  Tell my husband I love him.  Yes, this is something I have to decide to do.  When you and your spouse are busy working hard all day, and then you come home to kids who need you to take care of them, it can be easy to push through until bedtime and then crash and burn at the end of the night.  Then, before you know it, it's been three days since you have said anything meaningful to your spouse besides "Did you remember to pay that bill?" or "Have you done anything for supper?" or "It's your turn to deal with that!"  Take the extra minute to connect with your love.

      4.  Hug my kids and tell them each I love them.   Usually this is something that happens daily at bedtime, but once in a while even the bedtimes are rushed and it is just time for EVERYONE TO GO TO SLEEP RIGHT NOW!!  Your little guys and girls (and your big ones, if you have them)  still need to feel those special moments, even in the midst of your busy life.

     5.  Remember this song.  We have an old Johnny Cash album recorded at San Quentin prison, where Johnny Cash is singing with the Carter Family and the Statler Brothers.  One of the songs on this album has the best words for mommies (and other people) to have in the back of their mind on a daily basis.  Here are the lyrics, and you could probably hear a recording on Youtube, if you looked it up.  So simple, yet powerful if you take a few minutes to think about them.  It's like a mommy theme song!

"Less Of Me"

lyrics by Glen Campbell

Let me be a little kinder
Let me be a little blinder
To the faults of those about me
Let me praise a little more

Let me be when I am weary
Just a little bit more cheery
Think a little more of others
And a little less of me

Let me be a little braver
When temptation bids me waver
Let me strive a little harder
To be all that I should be

Let me be a little meeker
With the brother that is weaker
Let me think more of my neighbor
And a little less of me

Let me be when I am weary
Just a little bit more cheery
Let me serve a little better
Those that I am strivin' for

Let me be a little meeker
With the brother that is weaker
Think a little more of others
And a little less of me

    Anyway, those are just  few of the things I try to resolve to do on a daily basis.  What's on your daily "resolve" list?  If you don't have one, maybe that can be your New Year's resolution! :)

   

Keep Going!

     For Mother's Day this year, my mom and I decided that it would be fun to spend time together rather than do the whole "gift" thing.  (Let's face it...we probably don't need more "stuff" anyway, right?)  So, we decided to eat lunch and have a movie date.  There was a movie I had been hearing good things about (Christian; homeschooled filmmakers; set in Birmingham; about moms) so I decided to take her and go see it. 

     It was a great movie.  Very down-to-earth, honest, and totally "Hey, that's SO my life!"  And funny.  I haven't laughed so much at a movie since I can't remember when!  But I guess what I took away most from the movie was what the film makers were trying to say.  Keep going, moms.  Your job is important.  

     Through humor (and a few tear-inducing moments) they sent a message loud and clear.  Moms are important.  Family is important.  God-honoring families are important.  Moms are important to their kids.  Moms are important to their husbands.  Moms are important to other moms.  Moms are important to the Lord.

     I wanted to pass this message on.  Keep going, moms.  Your work is important.  Keep going on days when everything is crazy.  When you wake up excited because it is the first week of summer break, and two kids have runny noses, two kids have poison ivy, and hubby is sick. On the day when you just want to have a fun family day, but the phone is ringing off the hook with things.  And when you finally get out the door, you realize that the baby doesn't have shoes, and you have on your grubby work-in-the-yard shoes with your cute top and jeans.  *Sigh. 

     Keep going on days where you look around and it seems like everyone else has it so totally together.  Those days where you see other moms whose kids are pristine in their smocked, ironed playclothes.  Whose life is filled Pinterest-inspired items that they have actually done.  Gourmet, organic meals adorn their tables, and they look like they just got back from the spa, where they also lost every molecule of baby-weight from their already super-thin bodies.  Keep going.

     Keep going on days where you are the one (gasp!) who "has it all together" in someone else's eyes.  Be real to them.  Come alongside and help.  Let them know that it is hard work, but they can keep going too.  That mommy who seems overwhelmed with her two little ones, and you are thinking, "Girl, just wait until you have _____________ to deal with!"  Smile at her.  Sit with her.  Smile at her little ones.  Chat with them.  Let her know that it does get worse...but it also gets better.  So much better.  Keep going.

     Keep going on days when your heart is breaking because your adult child is wrecking their life.  Keep being their mom.  Keep loving them.  Keep praying.  And praying. And praying. Keep standing strong in your faith.  Hold on to God's promises.  Keep going.

     Keep going on days that people who should know better, don't.  Keep going on days when you just want to quit, cry, stomp, whine, yell, or all of the above at once.  Keep going on days that you are the first one up, and the last to go to bed.  Keep going on days that you hear bad news.  Keep going on days on which you clean the same messes up all day.  When you have a list that nothing seems to get crossed off on.  On days when you need a list, but it's so hectic you couldn't even begin to make one.  On days where you have heard all the fighting, whining, tattling, and complaining you can handle....and then Hubby comes home with a whole list of why his day was the worst.  Keep going.

      Keep going because "I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me."  (Philippians 4:13, emphasis added)  Keep going because "Let us not be weary in well-doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not."  (Galatians 6:9, emphasis added)  Keep going.  :)

Positively Positive!

  Okay, so recently I've been doing some musing on conversation.  In the Bible, the word conversation can mean your way of living, but in common usage it means the words that you share with others.  No matter which definition you choose to go with, it is a struggle to keep a positive conversational outlook.  It seems that everyone is complaining about gas prices, government, peoples' behaviors, and the list goes on and on...  I mentioned my frustrations with this way of conversing to hubby the other day.  I said "Look, the world has been going to end since it began, so I don't understand why everyone is so concerned with it all of a sudden!"  It seems everywhere you turn, someone is saying something about stocking up, building shelters, or making other preparations for the next great disaster or a governmental shutdown or whatever. 


   The Bible states that God did not give us a "spirit of fear, but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind." (2 Timothy 1:7).  Also, Jesus talks about the blessings of a child-like faith in His teachings.  Now, I look at my boys, and I realize that they have no idea the world's coming to an end, and (here's the important part!) I don't want them to!!   How can they learn to be joyful and happy and loving if they grow up under a shadow of fear?  Why don't they have this fear?  Because they know that their parents and God will take care of them.  I think God feels the same way about us.  He wants us to grow and mature knowing that He is always there for us, no matter what happens in the world around us.  He is the only thing we need to have "on hand" to be prepared for the coming days! 


   This leads me to the point of what I wanted to say.  It seems that the Christians are not immune to the fearful "conversation" that the world seems to have.  And, here's the crazy part...we have the Answer!  We already know the "end of the the story" and our part in it!  So why is it that Christians are just as quick to fall into the trap of fearful worrying and "what-if" conversations?  My pastor has been teaching through the book of Colossians in our Sunday night services.  Last night we were on Colossians 4:6.  "Let your speech be alway with grace, seasoned with salt, that ye may know how ye ought to answer every man."  He brought out the fact that the word "grace" in this verse comes from the Greek root "charis" which is where we get our word "charisma" from.  It means positive, upbeat, cheerful. This verse is saying that we as Christians should make sure our speech remains positive throughout our day.  With this goal in mind, it would be very difficult to complain, fret, worry, and "what-if" your way through life!  


   The next part of the verse mentions our speech being "seasoned with salt."  Because my father has a thing for alliteration he stated this as "palatable."  We as Christians should make sure our speech is something that others can hear, and are left with a pleasant "taste" in their mouth.  That pretty much knocks out any other negative speech patterns that we find ourselves falling into!  Criticizing, comparing people, and gossip have to be eliminated with this part of the verse!  


   The verse ends with "that ye may know how ye ought to answer every man."  This moves away from what we should not say into the realm of what we should say.  We need to be prepared with a positive, palatable means of conversation in our lives.  This will lead to our speech being a powerful tool in our Christian walk.   We can use our conversational opportunities to bring people back to the Answer for all the problems...Jesus Christ!  


   So this is my personal mission for now.  I am asking God to help me put a watch on my speech, so that I will be a more positive, palatable, and powerful witness for Him.  I hope to be able to pass on the behavior to my boys as well.  I bet there will be a lot less whining and fussing if we are all trying to be as positive as we can!  I bet it would even work for grown-ups too... :)