And there it was... like a brick. "...joyful mother of children." Huh. Well, then. Okay. It also coincided with my recent watching of Marie Kondo's show on Netflix, and the new buzz words going around: "Does _______ spark joy?"
Am I a joyful mother of children? I know I'm a busy mother of children. An often impatient mother of children. An occasionally frustrated mother of children. A distracted mother of children. But joyful...? Hm... ouch.
So, I thought I'd spend a bit of time thinking and meditating on this idea, and just wanted to share my musings with y'all. What are some practical ways I can be a more joyful mother of children? Here are a few things I came up with:
1) It only works with Jesus. Really, you don't even have to look elsewhere for this...it's right in the verse: "He maketh..." Y'all, we can't do this motherhood thing without Jesus. All the parenting books, videos, seminars, and blogs won't help a bit if we don't have the right foundation to build on. And, believe me, I know how hard it is to find time to connect with my Lord in a meaningful way. But if we really think about it, we can find those 15 or 20 minutes in our day. Even 10. To stop, come apart, and re-connect with our Power Source. Do it. Let the laundry sit. Don't respond to the chirp of your text notification. Put in a DVD for your little people. Sit in your car before work. Spend the time... it isn't wasted.
2) Let it go. Fair warning... this is my biggest struggle. But to maintain a joyful spirit, you might need to overlook certain things. I mean, is it really going to hurt anything if your toddler goes to the store in mismatched socks and a super hero cape? If you give your kids cookies for a snack instead of carrot sticks? Baths only happen every other day? Does that make you less of a mom? Nope. Not to your kids. But they will remember it if everything you do turns into a power struggle over your way or theirs. Ask yourself, "Why do I feel that this is so important to me?" If you can't give yourself a good answer, you may just want to roll with it. At a minimum, it will be worth it to see the look on your kids faces!
3) Don't let it go. Ha! Contradiction warning!! Yes, on the surface, this one appears to be the opposite of what I just said, but hold your horses. I have come to see the importance of letting little things go... and the importance of not letting the big ones slide. Is it easier to let your kid get down from the table after you made yourself clear about the remaining broccoli on his plate? Well, duh. But did you give a firm direction? "Eat the broccoli?" Well, then, you'd better stick it out. Obedience is one of the best things we can teach our kids. That sports game happening during Sunday morning church? What are you teaching about priorities? Kids are crazy and you're tempted to skip family Bible time and just put everyone to bed so you can veg out a few minutes early? Careful... they are paying more attention than you think. So, be consistent on those big things.
4) Smile when you see your kids. I heard this quote from someone several years ago... and I have never forgotten it. They said that when your kids come into the room, or you are seeing them for the first time in a while (picking up from school, daycare, etc.), to let them see your happiness to see them on your face. It is so easy to let our faces reflect the million other things we are mentally juggling when we interact with our kids. But when is the last time you just made eye contact with your kids and smiled at them? Rather than a distracted, "Hey, honey. Have a good day? Get in... we're late for ...." (Or in my case, "Hey guys. Pick that up. Put away your stuff. Have you done your chores?") I know this is one I need to put into a bit better practice for sure!
I hope these tips help us to re-focus on being joyful in our motherhood. God thinks kids are important, and He entrusts them to us for a short time. Let's not treat that responsibility as if it only means drudgery and depression. Let your kids see that Jesus has made you to be their joyful mother...even in the daily dose of chaos! :)