So, I recently posted the first part to this post. If you want the background, click here. This is a two-part response to something I read recently that made me think "You've got to be kidding me!" (More than once, actually!)
So to continue with Point 2: All men are unable to be responsible for their thought processes and they all secretly desire young, naive girls as opposed to mature, wise women.
And make no mistake, in the context of this book, the word "desire" was intended in all its intimate meanings. The book basically stated that the more "childlike" we behaved as women, the more our husbands hearts would be turned to us, and we would awaken feelings of deep love and tenderness in their hearts. And I am practically quoting the author here! The word "childlike" was used several times.
Let's just say, this creeped me out. I possibly had a bigger problem with this initially than the first point I covered in the last post. (Although it is easy how one could lead to the next.) How could this be considered an appropriate Christian marriage?!
First of all, it struck me as a very disrespectful attitude to take towards your husband. This is the man God placed in your life as the leader of your home, and you are supposed to basically think of him as a lecherous, boorish person with an inability to control his baser instincts? And not only are you to think of him this way, but you are to encourage him to feel this way--only about you?! You have got to be kidding me! How disrespectful of your husband! How disrespectful of yourself! How disrespectful of the sacred marriage God gave you!
As wives, we are to be our husbands helpmeet. This does not mean that we are to manipulate him or deceive him! As I am not a man, I do not lay claim to know how much they struggle with the challenges of maintaining a pure thought life is this world of sin that they are forced to go out into every day. I have been told that men are more visual creatures than women, and that what may not affect us is something that can cause them many years of heartache. Every day your husband is bombarded by visual images that can cause his mind to wander into sinful thoughts. So rather than thinking, "Well, that's just the way he is, so I will become those images in order to help him," we need to pray for protection for our husbands. Protection from images, thoughts, and even other people that would lead him astray. This is being a wise helpmeet.
As far as behaving in a "childlike" manner in order to awaken certain feeling in our husbands...just ewww. I mean, really, is that what you want your husband to view you as--another child that he has to care for? How is that following God's plan to be a Proverbs 31 woman? I doubt her husband thought of her as "childlike." Do you think David would have married Abigail if she had behaved in this way? Not likely! What about Mrs. Noah? Do you really think that Noah had time to deal with a "childlike" wife as he prepared for the world to end? I mean, who do you think organized the stocking of the Ark? Getting the food ready and stored? Gathering the necessary items for 8 people to live on a boat for and indeterminate amount of time? Well, who packs for vacation in your house? Probably you--the wife--right?
These women did not "simper" around, constantly asking what they should do next. They did not questions, whine, complain, or behave in otherwise childish ways. They didn't bat their eyes and say, "Oh, I just don't know how I managed before you came over to help me..." And, ladies, neither should we. The Bible is pretty clear that as we grow, both physically and spiritually, we are to put away childish behaviors. Titus 2 tells the older women to be teachers of the younger women. Well, no matter how young you are, you are always older than somebody else! There is always going to be someone who is looking up to you. Are you teaching them that it is okay to behave in an immature way, as long as it gets them what they want or makes someone else (a guy) feel superior? Are we really supposed to pander to the men in our life? Respect them, care for them, help them, pray for them--yes. Indulge their every whim, never disagree with their behaviors, allow demeaning treatment of ourselves--no.
Many women complain about an apparent lack of maturity in their husbands and other men in their life. "They're so juvenile! They are just crude! He is so spoiled...I have to have everything just right for him." Well, it sounds to me like they are talking about an over-grown toddler rather than the man they are married to! How is it helpful to encourage that behavior? How is that fulfilling your purpose a a help to your husband? After having parented several children through toddler-hood, I can tell you am I glad I am not married to one! Is it wrong to treat your husband specially--make him favorite treats, forgive annoying habits, etc? No, of course not. But it is wrong to encourage him in selfishness or other immature things that have no place in a Christian's life.
So, as I wrap up this post, I want to encourage you to look carefully at your attitudes and actions as a wife. Are you encouraging your husband to sin--even unwittingly? Are your actions making it easier for him to have trouble with his thought life? Are you praying a hedge of protection around him, yourself, and your marriage? If not, start! There are several good Christian books out there about how important our actions as wive are to our husbands. Get in God's Word and study what the wise women in the Bible did and how they responded to situations in their lives.
And if you come across a book or speaker-even if it is meant to be Christian--that doesn't seem to mesh with the Scripture...drop it! Be discerning of what you allow to influence your thoughts and life. Stay in the Scripture so that false teachings will sound like a note out of tune in your life. Don't be a "silly woman!" (2 Timothy 3:6)
If you have made it this far, thanks for reading to the end! If it gave you something to think about, I'm glad...thinking leads to growing! I hope I can encourage you to grow a little closer to our Saviour! :)